If you somehow stumbled on this blog, go away, shoo. It's not for public consumption. I just needed to try something to get my head straight, to talk out loud, and came back to my blogging roots. * * * I am struggling to set up the trajectory for this last portion of my life. Which is kind of funny, since there's been nothing organized or thought out about the rest of my life, so why should I start now? Well, because my life has been a mess, is why, and I am definitely not getting younger. So I would like to have some inkling of a plan, some sketched-out roadmap that I can refer to, to keep me from just spiralling. To keep me sorta-motivated, to prevent me just bed-rotting during my free time. To give me some sense of purpose. I mean, mortality lies in any direction I go, so why not choose a direction I'm at least vaguely comfortable with? The problem is, I can't focus or get anything done in a consistent fashion. I struggle to accomplish short ...